MUSIC CLASSES AND THE SHY CHILD
You have a child who clings to you, who won’t let anyone get near them, who cries when they come into a new situation or a room full of strangers. What can you do.?
In the 19 years that I have been teaching Musical Munchkins, I have seen many a shy child come through my doors. They come in crying, they come in clinging for dear life, they come in hiding, but by the end of classes- every single one of them has made progress in feeling more comfortable around strangers and strange settings. This s is the magic of music. The most important thing I stress to parents of shy children is not to be worried, and not to force their children to participate. With shy children, the less you interfere, the more they feel safe. The more you push, the more they resist. The more you let go of requiring them to participate, the more you will see these children blossom.
I had a beautiful little girl start in my classes this past summer. She was two years old, and really painfully shy- Her mother had discussed this with me prior to class, and I encouraged her to bring her- but not to have her sit in the circle with us, but to start out at the back of the room where she could just watch. In fact, I think the first class, she watched half of it from the door way. Each week she was able to bring her closer to the circle, and by the end of 5 weeks, she was sitting in the circle and fully participating in all of our activities and smiling as well. This was tremendous progress for her. It is so important for the parent to be patient and supportive. When shy children feel safe (meaning you are not going to force them to do anything), then they have the space in their own timetable to come out of their shell and engage in the activities and with others.
The other factor with shy children is the way they process and learn information. Shy children are observers. They need to observe for a long time before they will participate. However, it does not mean they are not learning or enjoying the experience. In fact, the total opposite is true. Shy children process information differently. They absorb everything in their surroundings by watching. And more often than not, when they get home, they will perform for you everything they learned in class. I have so often heard from mothers that they were totally shocked when their child began to imitate everything I did in class.
When you are accepting of where your children are, you give them the chance to be themselves, and you will find that you have given them the biggest gift of all: SELF- LOVE!
Below are some links to articles and advice on how to help your shy child.
http://www.whattoexpect.com/toddler-behavior/shy-toddler.aspx
http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/child-rearing-and-development/8-ways-help-shy-child
http://www.babycenter.com/0_shyness_11563.b
